Please Do Not Turn Off Your Console

It's been a curious week for us all, hasn't it? Full of people talking about remaking Battletoads, as if anyone would ever want to experience that hell again. Frankly, we're just disappointed nobody sent us bathroom stall graffiti, really. Paul has tales from the land of Puyo Puyo Tetris, Aaron has a good rant about just how incredibly good Kentucky Route Zero is that you should have listened to two years ago when that game came out, and everyone's more than a little tired of hearing about ethics in video games journalism but willing to say just the one more thing about it, apparently. Honestly we'd probably rather asphyxiate slowly in a metal capsule on an alien world. Also, Microsoft's got augmented reality glasses they'd love you to strap to your face, and we're into that. Oh, and Paul's audio got weird at the end of the show again. Sorry about that.

Your emails, nonexistent as they are, can go to turnoffyourconsole@gmail.com. Your tweets can go to @turnoffconsole, or just fire them off into the ether and we'll never acknowledge them. Send your bathroom stall graffiti to our email, and Aaron will definitely send you a download code for something.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_17.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:25pm EDT

We're back, and this time it's personal. Aaron went to an arcade and came back all bitter and angry about arcades, as if they've not been dead for the better part of 20 years. Paul tried real hard to play some of the Evolve beta, and it didn't turn out so hot for him either. Australia doesn't like Hotline Miami 2! Nintendo's doing some shenanigans with the New 3DS XL that are bullshit! One of our listeners really liked Assassin's Creed: RogueI guess that last one is actually something of a good thing. Still, plenty of hot takes for your gaming podcast pleasure. We do what we can to make you happy, and we hear the internet likes being angry about things.

Scrawl your support for our show on the bathroom stall wall, and Aaron will select a game to gift you, probably on Steam. Carve it into a door with a Stanley knife! 

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_16.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:40pm EDT

It was only a matter of time before the iPhone gained sentience, and decided it wanted to talk about long-running British soaps. Judgment Day is upon us. FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!

Or talk about video games, apparently. We're both going through something of a Persona 4 Golden ADDICTION right now, so you'll have to excuse us as we jabber incessantly about it--but don't worry, Paul's also been playing a lot of Shadow of Mordor, and Aaron spent some quality time getting killed over and over again in the Halo 5 multiplayer beta. We also discuss the upcoming Life is Strange, and completely forget to save time for an actual Listener Email that we will totally get to next week, we promise. Also Aaron's work phone tries to kill him, or something. Your typical Sunday night.

Send your own emails that we'll forget to talk about on the show: turnoffyourconsole@gmail.com

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_15.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:45pm EDT

Okay, so we got a bit lazy on the whole "game of the year extravaganza" thing. But now we're back from vacation and ready to present to you our top five games that we played which also came out in 2014 (our top game we played in 2014 was actually Persona 4 Golden, or maybe Pathologic).

You can either listen to us hash it out (recommended), or just read on to hear our top five games:

5. Shovel Knight

4. Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls (or more accurately, Diablo 3: Ultimate Evil Edition)

3. Dark Souls II

2. D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die (number one in our hearts)

1. Middle Earth: Shadow of Mordor

Write us angry letters about how our list sucks: turnoffyourconsole@gmail.com

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

 

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_14.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:05pm EDT

The holiday season is fully upon us, which means it's time to engage in that classic holiday tradition, talking shit about video games. But first, a big shout out to Ice Pick Lodge for actually listening to last week's podcast and tweeting us! That means we are now best friends forever, and if you think you are better friends than we are watch yourself because I have a knife and I will fucking cut you.

Also, Aaron and Paul bought some PS Vitas, so get ready to hear us talk about some Persona games that you played years ago! That and Olli Olli, where Aaron reveals he doesn't know what the fuck chillwave actually is.

We recommend playing Mario Cars 2, talk about the early access version of Satellite Reign (and other early access adventures), and HEY D4 IS FREE FOR XBOX GOLD USERS, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DOWNLOADED THIS ALREADY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_13.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:39pm EDT

We come roaring into the week HOT with some critical video game discussion, as we continue our quest to become a podcast with more than five or six regular listeners. Aaron's ready, Paul's ready, it is time to talk about some god damn video games and what we think about them!

Like for example, did you know that Destiny released an expansion? And that it was really short and kind of a ripoff for $20? Well now you know, and we practice self-restraint and only talk about it for like ten minutes. We also discuss Hideo Kojima's game of the year (no really, he called it his game of the year), and then it's time for Paul to talk about some old games--Geometry Wars and The World Ends With You, specifically. Not to be outdone, Aaron rants incoherently about how fucking good Pathologic is, and also how great Ice Pick Lodge's kickstarter updates are. Also, some more Persona 4 talk, because Persona 5 isn't out yet.

We love you, dear listeners, so show some reciprocation by spreading the word about this podcast--grow our tiny army to something a little more respectable, and I promise we'll treat you right by talking about EVEN OLDER GAMES. 

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_12.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am EDT

A quiet week means a quiet podcast, as Aaron and Paul unwind by talking about some free games that Aaron's been playing (Yet I Despise Him and Void & Meddler), some additional thoughts on Marvellous Miss Take, a few words more to say about Destiny, and hey, Halo: The Master Chief Collection actually works now! That's newsworthy, right? Sure it is, sure it is.

Oh yeah, and there were a couple events that happened, weren't there? A CRIME that was committed? A CRIME OF ROBBERY? Jeff Gerstmann may not have a trophy, but he is Trending Gamer 2014 in our hearts.

Some other stuff got announced too, we guess, but we're not going to play with your heart and promise any hot Persona 5 news like Adam Boyes did. YOU BASTARD.

Paul tried a new recording set-up, which didn't work, which is why his audio gets all shitty at the end. Live and learn, we guess.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_11.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:26pm EDT

It's the Please Do Not Turn Off Your Console 10th Episode EXTRAVAGANZA, complete with fond looks back over the last ten episodes and some of our favorite goofs and video game hot takes to bring you stumbling out of your Thanksgiving-induced food comas and into the month of December! That's right, we're.... wait, we canceled the clip show? You say we're just back to talk about our Destiny relapse, Dragon Age: Inquisition's enormous size (no really it keeps getting bigger), the Marvellous Miss Take, and some other games that we can't remember because this is going up the day after we recorded it? Also some talk about YouTube shenanigans and a quick sidetrip so Aaron can trash VR some more?

Shit, really?

Okay, well! Please enjoy this podcast, which is going up a day late because of storage restrictions! We cooked it up for you while the turkey was in the oven. Just a little stovetop...podcasting... man I don't know. This is a podcast about video games, not a podcast about brilliant food metaphors. 

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:04pm EDT

There's too much to talk about this week, so pick your own witty title. There's more Dragon Age talk, of course. You always knew that there would be, deep down in your heart. But don't worry, we played some other stuff too! Like Far Cry 2, for example, and also A City Sleeps, which has the distinction of having come out this year. 

Also up for discussion: Halo Master Chief Collection is still kind of busted, Inquisition Multiplayer, Devolver Digital does good again with another trailer, Heat Signiture looks really good, and some new Early Access rules. It's all very charming.

Look, we both know this description lacks the pep of some of the others, but you know what? It's trying its best. There was a lot to cover this week, so it's hard to find a throughline, like dragon sex. They can't all be winners, okay?

TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT US. We desire a larger audience. 

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:44pm EDT

Come on, we can do better than that. There's a creative Dragon Age: Inquisition pun to be made in the title somewhere, damn it! Please Dragon Age Your Console? No, no, too derivitive. Please Do Not Dragon...Your Age? We hope this podcast does not Drag-on?

Once upon a time we were going to talk about other things, like the Halo Master Chief collection, or Aaron's growing addiction to Crypt of the Necrodancer, or how Assassin's Creed Unity is kind of a broken piece of shit, but instead we got early access to Dragon Age Inquisition and that's pretty much all we're going to talk about in this episode (which is up a little late because Paul had to attend a wedding). 

Wait, Please Do Not Turn Off Your Dragon! A way to keep your sexual dragon relationship spicy and fresh! America's number one podcast abuot dragon seduction techniques! We did it. We got there in the end. Thank you, mom and dad, for believing in us.

Oh god, we're hacks. Put us out of our misery by subscribing on iTunes and writing us hatemail to turnoffyourconsole@gmail.com.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_8.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:42pm EDT