Please Do Not Turn Off Your Console

The holiday season is fully upon us, which means it's time to engage in that classic holiday tradition, talking shit about video games. But first, a big shout out to Ice Pick Lodge for actually listening to last week's podcast and tweeting us! That means we are now best friends forever, and if you think you are better friends than we are watch yourself because I have a knife and I will fucking cut you.

Also, Aaron and Paul bought some PS Vitas, so get ready to hear us talk about some Persona games that you played years ago! That and Olli Olli, where Aaron reveals he doesn't know what the fuck chillwave actually is.

We recommend playing Mario Cars 2, talk about the early access version of Satellite Reign (and other early access adventures), and HEY D4 IS FREE FOR XBOX GOLD USERS, WHY HAVEN'T YOU DOWNLOADED THIS ALREADY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_13.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:39pm EDT

We come roaring into the week HOT with some critical video game discussion, as we continue our quest to become a podcast with more than five or six regular listeners. Aaron's ready, Paul's ready, it is time to talk about some god damn video games and what we think about them!

Like for example, did you know that Destiny released an expansion? And that it was really short and kind of a ripoff for $20? Well now you know, and we practice self-restraint and only talk about it for like ten minutes. We also discuss Hideo Kojima's game of the year (no really, he called it his game of the year), and then it's time for Paul to talk about some old games--Geometry Wars and The World Ends With You, specifically. Not to be outdone, Aaron rants incoherently about how fucking good Pathologic is, and also how great Ice Pick Lodge's kickstarter updates are. Also, some more Persona 4 talk, because Persona 5 isn't out yet.

We love you, dear listeners, so show some reciprocation by spreading the word about this podcast--grow our tiny army to something a little more respectable, and I promise we'll treat you right by talking about EVEN OLDER GAMES. 

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_12.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:23am EDT

A quiet week means a quiet podcast, as Aaron and Paul unwind by talking about some free games that Aaron's been playing (Yet I Despise Him and Void & Meddler), some additional thoughts on Marvellous Miss Take, a few words more to say about Destiny, and hey, Halo: The Master Chief Collection actually works now! That's newsworthy, right? Sure it is, sure it is.

Oh yeah, and there were a couple events that happened, weren't there? A CRIME that was committed? A CRIME OF ROBBERY? Jeff Gerstmann may not have a trophy, but he is Trending Gamer 2014 in our hearts.

Some other stuff got announced too, we guess, but we're not going to play with your heart and promise any hot Persona 5 news like Adam Boyes did. YOU BASTARD.

Paul tried a new recording set-up, which didn't work, which is why his audio gets all shitty at the end. Live and learn, we guess.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_11.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:26pm EDT

It's the Please Do Not Turn Off Your Console 10th Episode EXTRAVAGANZA, complete with fond looks back over the last ten episodes and some of our favorite goofs and video game hot takes to bring you stumbling out of your Thanksgiving-induced food comas and into the month of December! That's right, we're.... wait, we canceled the clip show? You say we're just back to talk about our Destiny relapse, Dragon Age: Inquisition's enormous size (no really it keeps getting bigger), the Marvellous Miss Take, and some other games that we can't remember because this is going up the day after we recorded it? Also some talk about YouTube shenanigans and a quick sidetrip so Aaron can trash VR some more?

Shit, really?

Okay, well! Please enjoy this podcast, which is going up a day late because of storage restrictions! We cooked it up for you while the turkey was in the oven. Just a little stovetop...podcasting... man I don't know. This is a podcast about video games, not a podcast about brilliant food metaphors. 

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_10.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:04pm EDT

There's too much to talk about this week, so pick your own witty title. There's more Dragon Age talk, of course. You always knew that there would be, deep down in your heart. But don't worry, we played some other stuff too! Like Far Cry 2, for example, and also A City Sleeps, which has the distinction of having come out this year. 

Also up for discussion: Halo Master Chief Collection is still kind of busted, Inquisition Multiplayer, Devolver Digital does good again with another trailer, Heat Signiture looks really good, and some new Early Access rules. It's all very charming.

Look, we both know this description lacks the pep of some of the others, but you know what? It's trying its best. There was a lot to cover this week, so it's hard to find a throughline, like dragon sex. They can't all be winners, okay?

TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT US. We desire a larger audience. 

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:44pm EDT

Come on, we can do better than that. There's a creative Dragon Age: Inquisition pun to be made in the title somewhere, damn it! Please Dragon Age Your Console? No, no, too derivitive. Please Do Not Dragon...Your Age? We hope this podcast does not Drag-on?

Once upon a time we were going to talk about other things, like the Halo Master Chief collection, or Aaron's growing addiction to Crypt of the Necrodancer, or how Assassin's Creed Unity is kind of a broken piece of shit, but instead we got early access to Dragon Age Inquisition and that's pretty much all we're going to talk about in this episode (which is up a little late because Paul had to attend a wedding). 

Wait, Please Do Not Turn Off Your Dragon! A way to keep your sexual dragon relationship spicy and fresh! America's number one podcast abuot dragon seduction techniques! We did it. We got there in the end. Thank you, mom and dad, for believing in us.

Oh god, we're hacks. Put us out of our misery by subscribing on iTunes and writing us hatemail to turnoffyourconsole@gmail.com.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_8.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:42pm EDT

You've made it through another week, so we're rewarding you with yet another episode of what is probably not your favorite video games podcast, but maybe it's cracked your top ten--go on, slot us in at number 7, we've earned it.

It was a busy week, so we don't spend much time mucking about--there's too many cooks and too much goddamn news to discuss, not the least of which is the surprise appearance of a new Alone in the Dark game, Blizzard's new thing, hitting peak Dark Souls, some more talk about mobile gaming, and how Atari does business now. Also, some more talk about Crypt of the Necrodancer, because that game is great and you should be playing it.

Also, this time Aaron's computer had a hiccup, so you get to listen to Paul talk to himself for a few seconds. We like to mix things up here to keep you on your toes.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7.

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_7.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:44pm EDT

Oh listeners, dear sweet listeners, bringing you this tasty podcast candy the day after Halloween took everything we had. Paul's computer was possessed by ghosts, so an old-fashioned exorcism had to take place--but not before we lost the first twelve minutes and had to re-do them. The exorcism took place as we recorded, which is why Aaron is just kind of talking to himself for a while there, responding to an unheard voice. Or maybe he's just gone off the deep end. That's a very real possibility.

Anyway, we talk about Crypt of the Necrodancer, another shitty PC port of a Japanese console game, Sunset Overdrive, Wolfe: The Red Hood Chronicles, and some other shit. Also, there's a video up on our YouTube channel you should look at. You can find that over here.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7. 

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_6.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:03am EDT

We were gone for a week there, but we've come back because your sobs convinced us we should. So what have we been doing with ourselves? Well, let's see... not much as it turns out. There's a little rust, but we'll hit our stride again soon.

Persona 4 gets some discussion time, as does The World Ends With You and Aaron tries to convince himself that going back to portable gaming is not a complete waste of time. Also, Paul informs Aaron that 80 Days is an iPhone-only game but Republique isn't.

If you like us, write a review on iTunes saying how much you like us! If you hate us, send us hate mail at turnoffyourconsole@gmail.com. You can also follow us on Twitter @turnoffconsole.

Opening music is Back to the Light by Jun Fukuda off of Killer 7. Closing music is Rave On, by Masafumu Takada, also off of Killer 7. 

Direct download: pdntoyc_episode_5.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:45pm EDT

The prospect of a face-to-face sitdown episode looms on the horizon, but sometimes we don't get what we want. Sometimes we get garbage instead, and have to find a trash can.

Papa John's cookie pizza thing is one such garbage, and the audio for episode five is another. Our apologies. Come back next week and we will provide both goofs and game discussion to make up for it. Also, if you send us your address, we will email you some lemonade in an envelope by way of apology. The envelope will be pretty soggy, and it may not actually arrive because there might be laws about mailing soggy envelopes, but we'll try and that's what matters.

Direct download: pdntoyc_announcement_1.mp3
Category:announcements -- posted at: 9:59pm EDT